You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The best revenge is premature balding
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
