I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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