I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
