this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
