Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
