Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I want a musical about memes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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