Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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