Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit