Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout