No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.