we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you will always have a special place in my vag
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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