my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice