Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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