D3 body, D1 cock
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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