I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
