You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we're making bets on your personal life
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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