HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
