no, he came in my armpit
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize