Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
