Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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