Kiss
Puke
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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