You surviving the open bar?
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Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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