It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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