toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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