how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
