The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
