Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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