This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i wish my penis had a tongue
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
last night I used snow as a chaser
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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