my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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