I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize