I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
