You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
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i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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