Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
