His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
