I didn't shave. On purpose
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
