he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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