Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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