Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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