Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
