Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
3 2 1 whiskey
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
