I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
