Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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