i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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