I think I won the penis lottery.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
