i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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