Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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