someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
