the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
