idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
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5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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