she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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