I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
