Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
