ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
