Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
