We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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