She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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