oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she told me i tasted like america
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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