Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
