You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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