Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
