Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Vodka?
Forever.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
