i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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