i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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