My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize