did you get engaged???
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
